What, you mean you're not familiar with Immortal, one of the bands that (arguably) defines the genre of Norwegian black metal? Actually, don't feel bad. I didn't know who they were until they were prominently featured a few years ago in ruthlessreviews.com' "Top Ten Most Ridiculous Black Metal Pics of All Time" and the follow-up "(The Other) Top Ten Most Ridiculous Black Metal Pics of All Time," (NSFW) which made the rounds of the internet in e-mails with messages like, "You've got to check this out!"
I must admit, I was fascinated, on a purely sociological level. What prompts grown men to do things like this?
So I sought out some black metal. Conveniently, there's a web site called Black Metal Radio at which you can listen to a number of the bands featured in the ruthlessreviews.com pictures. Now, I like to think I'm fairly open-minded, and in fact I went through a period as a youth when I was into heavy metal (that was before it fractured into all the sub-genres---Wikipedia lists 30 different ones as I write this; maybe more tomorrow). But I listened to some of this stuff with jaw on floor . . . you know how some people say that rap is not really "music"? Some black metal provokes the same kind of reaction: a lot of it just feels like an assault of noise, with no melody to speak of and all the groove of a jackhammer. Truly, some of this stuff is beyond parody. Not all of it, I hasten to add; some of it was interesting.
The Top Ten Most Ridiculous Black Metal Pics came out a few years ago but I was recently reminded of them by a thread on TalkBass.com about bands with "Cookie Monster" vocals, which contained a link to a YouTube compilation of the Ten Most Ridiculous Black Metal Videos of All Time, which in some ways is even more---I can't think of the word, but you know that uncomfortable feeling you get when you see somebody doing something really embarrassing? Even more like that. And Immortal placed in that top ten as well (three times), but what was really funny was where somebody took their video to "Call of the Wintermoon" and put some...different...music to it. (See the result.)
What Immortal demonstrates, by taking the idea to its ultimate conclusion, is that metal, beyond just being a form of music, is a philosophy or lifestyle. I don't know about every metal band, but I read an interview with Abbath and Demonaz from Immortal and that is real life for them---even before they were a band they used to put on makeup and go stalk the snowy Norse woods, living this kind of...well, it's tough to put into words but whatever it is, it's cold, dark, harsh, powerful and arcane, some sort of primal elemental force to which they feel connected. Lots of black metal bands adopt the trappings of Satanism but I get the feeling that they (well, most of them) are not really serious about it. Immortal strike me as more pre-Christian than anti-Christian in their orientation. Although I am not really a big fan of their music, I have some respect for Immortal for being true to themselves.
But if you understand that metal is emblematic of a philosophy or world view beyond its significance as music, it explains a couple things:
First, metalheads' fanatical devotion to their music: If you like jazz and somebody tells you that jazz sucks, that may be irritating, but in most cases, it doesn't go much beyond that. But if a metalhead is told that metal sucks, it is not just a difference of opinion or comment on his musical taste, it is an assault on the very pillars of his being. If you read the comments on the Most Ridiculous Black Metal Pics page you will see what I mean. The level of virulence displayed by the advocates and detractors of various bands and genres is surprising, but less so when you realize that those exchanges are equivalent to the sorts of donnybrooks you can find when people get talking about religion or politics. It is the same dynamic. To avoid unseemly conflict, perhaps metal should be added to the list of things not discussed in polite society. (I don't think most of polite society would mind.)
And, the splintering of metal into dozens of sub-genres that only the true fanatics can tell apart: Given my premise above, a metalhead encountering with metal music he doesn't like is faced with a quandry, a paradox: by definition metal = good, and yet, Band X really sucks... Does Not Compute. The way metal true believers have found to resolve this dilemma is thus: Band X which sucks does not play REAL metal, or proper metal, i.e., metal of the listener's favorite genre. For instance, there is (apparently; I don't understand such things myself) room to debate whether Cradle of Filth is a black metal band or a death metal band. I think the answer depends on (a) whether you consider yourself a black metal fan or a death metal fan, and (b) whether you like Cradle of Filth. If you're a black metal fan and hate CoF, then they must be a death metal band.
For the most part, the appeal of a lot of this music eludes me, but I find it fascinating. And even if you're sure you hate it, the black metal pictures and videos should at least be interesting. By the way, the title of this post ("Cursed Realms of the Winterdemons") is a song from Immortal's album Battles in the North.
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